Timing

I haven't written in so long that I feel like I'm almost starting over with this blog. The main thing that has remained constant in my life is that I still live in Colorado and I still can't imagine being anywhere else. Yes, I have moments when I miss hopping around the world. But my life in Colorado has begun to develop into something that I quite enjoy. It resembles ME, finally... and that is something that I haven't been able to say for a very long time.

I'm convinced that it takes about a year in any new location to start feeling like you have a life. I felt that way when I lived in London, Sydney, and now, Colorado. It takes nearly a year to meet a few people who have your back, to discard a few who don't, and to start pursuing the hobbies and activities that make you feel like YOU. The main hobby I have rediscovered is theatre. I just finished performing in an awesome play (Picasso at the Lapin Agile) with the Vail Valley Theatre Company and because of this experience, I have met people who value something that I value. They appreciate something that I appreciate. And they appreciate ME as well. What a wonderful thing! It was such a seemingly simple decision to audition for this play, and I am quite certain that my life has changed for the better because of it. 

Timing is everything, right?  Well, I couldn't make it to either of the two scheduled audition nights for Picasso and had resigned myself to the fact that I would just have to wait for the summer musical. Then BAM, I get an e-mail explaining that an extra night of auditions had been added. It was too good to be true and after attending this originally non-scheduled audition, I was cast. I thought, what perfect timing! And it was. My current happiness hinged completely on that one shift in timing.

But I've been thinking an awful lot about timing lately. Turns out, it's a pretty important factor when it comes to beginnings and endings. I've had relationships end because of timing. I've missed out on jobs, trips, and countless other opportunities because the timing was just a little bit off. Usually, it all works out. And often, it seems to work out better than your original plan. And that's what we tell ourselves - what I tell MYSELF - that everything happens how it's supposed to happen. That timing has a purpose and something better is around the next corner. I've banked on that for over twenty years, and this perspective doesn't usually let me down.

But what if the timing isn't off for a REASON... what if it's just OFF? Is there ever a moment when you should fight against the tragedy of a particular bit of timing? Is there ever an expiration date that you should ignore? Or should you just let it all wash over you and follow the current? Sometimes, I want to swim upstream. Sometimes, I meet someone incredible. But in a transient resort town, sometimes they leave. They come with a built-in expiration date that I do not want to accept. Everything depends on timing, right? But surely there must be more. Surely there are some things... some people... who trump timing.

I'm currently dealing with some timing that is just a bit off, and I find myself wondering how to approach it. I don't know that I'll do anything differently than I normally do. I don't know that I'll fight against this expiration date... I'm not sure I'd even know how. But I suppose that mainly, I never want to play the victim. I never want timing to keep me from something amazing. It's a gamble, I guess, when you decide to spit in Time's face and go for it anyway. But damn it, sometimes that's exactly what I want to do.

Posing in costume for Picasso at the Lapin Agile